The journey I did not expect

6 years, 10 months, 26 days. That is how long it's been since I began my journey as a person living a life with chronic pain as my companion. It started humorously enough. A quick slip and a fall on the kitchen floor. I felt pretty stupid and embarrassed and was very glad to have been alone when it happened. No witnesses. Good.
Earlier in the day, I had been cleaning and used furniture polish on my kitchen table. As I sprayed & polished, some of it must have wafted down to the linoleum floor. Just enough that when my sock-feet hit it that evening, I did a arm waving windmill dance as I tried to keep from going down. It was like slipping on ice. I sat down hard, but felt unhurt except for my dignity.

I didn't give it another thought, really. Until a couple of weeks later. Three days after the slip on the floor, I started having this throbbing pain in my right hip. I'd never felt it before and was not sure what was going on, but thought it would go away quickly. It didn't. After about a week of dealing with the pain unsuccessfully, I finally went to my doctor. I didn't even connect the pain with the fall until after a couple of doctor visits, my doc asked me if I had fallen recently. I had totally forgotten about my kitchen slip and slide experience. As I said "No...", the image of my windmill dance replayed in my mind, changing the answer to "oh yeah...." After drugs, tests, therapy, injections, etc, etc, etc, .....I had back surgery on May 13, 2003 to fuse two of my vertebrae. All the bad stuff you've heard about back surgery- all true. When the core of your physical being gets assaulted, you are never the same again. I was always a active, love-the-outdoors kind of person. Back surgery left me weak and depressed. As I recovered, I got some strength back and the pain I had been having was gone. I was really hoping to put the whole bad time behind me and get on with life. It seemed like that would be the case. For awhile. About two months in, I was standing on my front porch one day and suddenly my legs felt like they were badly sunburned and ants were stinging them, at the same time. It was the strangest feeling. I couldn't shake it off, walk away from it, or otherwise escape it. I had no idea what was attacking my body or why it came on like that. I still remember that exact moment. It's a surreal experience. It was the moment I began the journey I did not expect.

6 years, 10 months and 26 days later, I'm still on the journey.